When They Don't Understand

It is hard when you get kids in your home that don't understand all the complexities of their given situation.  It is hard when they have been pulled out of a safe, familiar and comfortable environment at a moments notice for no fault of their own and you aren't at liberty to tell them why.  Who knows all of what they begin to think as they haul their bags and boxes to yet another house and meet yet another new family.  Most seem resilient but, I suspect that beyond what show up on the surface there is are other emotions churning that will take them a lifetime to sort out.

A Growing Process

One thing that foster care has done for me is knock a chip off my shoulder....a really big chip.  The one that used to say, "If I was their parent I would...".  The truth is when we see a kid act up in church or at the store we know nothing about their background.  They may have been emotionally, physically or sexually abused. They may have been adopted and put back into  the system multiple times and wonder if anybody loves them.  They may have fought for survival in their own homes.  They may have been exposed to drugs and alcohol before their bodies took their first breaths outside the womb.  

The Picture

Have you ever tried to piece together a torn photo?  Until today, my answer would have been "no."  As I thought of the torn pieces I had to decide what direction to go.  Do I discard those pieces as broken and insignificant? Or do I salvage it as best as I can and return it to its' place of honor in my home?  I was torn between emotions that swayed from side-to-side.  It is not a photo I can simply replace with a new one.  As I carefully considered the photo, I heard a small voice within my spirit telling me that this is more than a torn photo.  It represents a broken and hurting life.

My choice was not to discard the broken pieces. In hope of sending a simple and significant message, the photo was taped and returned to the frame and its' proper place on my mantle.  From certain angles, you wouldn't even recognize the fragmented, jagged lines.  However, from other angles or upon looking closely you see this photo is not what it once was created to be.  It is forever scarred.  Like this photo, many people around us (and including us) are forever scarred by pain, anger, abuse, hurtful words, poor choices and bad situations.  I believe God wants our scars and even our open wounds.  He wants to redeem and use those scars in our lives for His glory.  He is asking us to allow him into our fragmented lives that He might restore the picture of our lives that we might do the things He has created in advance for us to do.  That our passions might bloom from our pain.  That we might run the race and press on toward the goal. That daily we might take up our cross and live for Him.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.

Ephesians 2:10

Learning to Be Still

Exodus 14:14 (NIV) 

¹⁴ The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." 

Last year God gave me (Cale) the word to just be still in the middle of some difficult times.  Even the thought of being still is counter to my nature to plan for every contingency possible and then execute the plan.  I had high hopes that coming into 2014 that the message would be different.  That somehow God would clearly reveal to me that it was time to move.  Because right after Moses gets done telling the Israelites to be still God interjects and says what are  you whining about?  It's go time Moses, get those people  into the sea.  (At least that is how I hear it.)    I want God to tell me it's go time.  I want him to clearly reveal to me what my next step needs to be.  But, all I get is the continued command to be still.  Being still doesn't mean being passive or complacent though.  I can grow closer to God in place and develop my character to more like Jesus in place.

I suppose God wanted to be really clear with me about being still.  Yesterday one of my wife's dear friends with a gift of discernment and encouragement sends a text to her out of the blue and says she felt we needed to hear Exodus 14:14 in regards to our present life circumstances.  Which happened to be just what God was speaking to me that day about a lesson for living for the message this week.  So, I suppose I will wait while God goes ahead of me and does the work he needs to do.  It feels like sitting on the sidelines waiting for the defense to get off the field.  I never did like that.  But, for now Lord I will be still until you are ready for me to step into the sea but, please know that my flippers are on.

Rose Colored Glasses

My wife does most of the writing for this blog but, I thought I would take a crack at putting down some thoughts a few months into our journey into foster care.  To be brutally honest I am usually a glass half-empty kind of guy.  But, when it comes to certain adventures, like finding a church to serve or deciding to buy a house and add two strange children to my home I wear rose colored glasses.  Rose colored glasses are great but, the tinting only lasts for so long.  I have concluded that God knowing me as he does lets me keep putting them on because he  knows once I get into a situation I'm likely to stick it out, if for no other reason than to prove that I can.  Lately I'm learning that the truth is I can't but he can.  There is nothing simple, easy or basic about a child that was taken from their home.  They have issues that combine with all the baggage you and your family have and you learn to make it work but, it is never easy. It will take you to places emotionally that you never imagined were possible.  But, if God has called you to love on these kids then it's a ministry you can't walk away from even when you take off the glasses and are faced with the stark realities of the task that is ahead.  

We Live By Faith

This was placed on my light switch by a special little one - I went to remove it, but read it first and decided it would stay. Amazing how God uses little hands to reinforce the message He has for you!

The Business Card

I spent most of the day on Monday and Tuesday trying to contact people through the Adoption website to learn how to navigate this process.  What does it look like?  How long does it take?  What do we need to do?  I felt like I was continually hitting brick walls.  I couldn't get people to return my phone calls.  The agencies I could speak with told me that they weren't interested in training us and we needed to call someone else.  I didn't know what to do, then Preacherman came home with hope.

Preacherman had taken Rockstar to her dance class at a local church.  While he was waiting for class to end, he was approached by the pastor's wife.  She was oblivious to our current pursuit of the foster process.  She handed him a business card and told him that this was the information of the Foster Care Recruiter from St-Francis Community Services.  She was trying to get in touch with all the pastors in the area.  Preacherman returned home and passed the card to me.  I immediately sent an email.  She replied before the end of the night with a promise of help.